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LEAVING THE DOUBTS BEHIND

Stronger by making choices

Afraid to make choices? Scared to take new steps? Or would you rather not make the wrong choice? You want to get rid of that uncertainty, but you don’t know how? Then you’ve come to the right place. I don’t know exactly how to do that either :). I doubt a lot and often. However, I am training myself because I recently discovered one secret. That there is power in making choices. By making a choice more often, you will notice that your self-confidence will grow. Even if it turned out not to be the right choice afterwards. You can discover how that works in my blogs. 

Afraid to make choices? Scared to take new steps? Or would you rather not make the wrong choice? You want to get rid of that uncertainty, but you don’t know how? Then you’ve come to the right place. I don’t know exactly how to do that either :). I doubt a lot and often. However, I am training myself because I recently discovered one secret. That there is power in making choices. By making a choice more often, you will notice that your self-confidence will grow. Even if it turned out not to be the right choice afterwards. You can discover how that works in my blogs. 

SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT?

Uncertain Certainly?

I can’t   

I wasn’t always so sure (and doubts still creep up, but it doesn‘t control me anymore). Whenever I felt that I was in a situation where people could judge me; Then I became insecure. For example for a job interview, I was always extremely nervous, because deep down I thought ‘They will think I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m sure it’s not going to work out’ – and believe me, if you’ve had dozens of rejections for interviews, like me, then you can easily start thinking that about yourself. So I did.   

I can!

I was insecure because of a negative self-image. I’ve known a lot of rejection in my life, and I lived according to that. The rejection had damaged my self-confidence and I was afraid to take any more steps. But at one point I said, “STOP! I’m not going to live in that victim role anymore. Enough is enough. I’m going forward and don’t look back.” And from that moment on I started again with psychotherapy, job coaching and started this blog… and my life started to get color again. 

SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT?

Uncertain Certainly?

I can’t   

I wasn’t always so sure (and doubts still creep up, but it doesn‘t control me anymore). Whenever I felt that I was in a situation where people could judge me; Then I became insecure. For example for a job interview, I was always extremely nervous, because deep down I thought ‘They will think I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m sure it’s not going to work out – and believe me, if you’ve had dozens of rejections for interviews, like me, then you can easily start thinking that about yourself. So I did.   

I can!

I was insecure because of a negative self-image. I’ve known a lot of rejection in my life, and I lived according to that. The rejection had damaged my self-confidence and I was afraid to take any more steps. But at one point I said, “STOP! I’m not going to live in that victim role anymore. Enough is enough. I’m going forward and don’t look back. ” And from that moment on I started again with psychotherapy, job coaching and started this blog… and my life started to get color again. 

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Happiness

You’re not a good mother

“I’m a bad mother” was my thought this morning. It was getting dark again in my head and I didn’t feel happy. But luckily not for long, because I recognized the lie of this negative thought and got rid of it.

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QUOTE

"There are many people who will never make their dreams come true, but will let their fears come true."

ABOUT SELF-CONFIDENCE

A positive Self-Image

Self-Confidence literally means; Confidence in your own strength (Van Dale). And positive confidence in yourself stands or falls with having a positive self-image.

What is self-image? 

Self-image is how someone feels about themselves. Often this is about unconscious thoughts. Your self-image determines how you act in life. Those who consider themselves stupid may not be so quick to start a course. Or those who consider themselves ugly will keep themselves in the background or will show compensatory behavior to disguise not feeling good about themselves. (text inspired by Medic Info Encyclopedia) 

Self-image, fear, and behavior 

Your self-image largely determines your behavior. So the more negative, the more you will (unconsciously) adjust your behavior accordingly. I was always afraid of making mistakes in my work and checked my work indefinitely, and then I kept doubting whether it was good enough, at the expense of my free time and my peace of mind.   

How is your self-image? 

 

about self-confidence

A positive Self-Image

Self-Confidence literally means; Confidence in your own strength (Van Dale). And positive confidence in yourself stands or falls with having a positive self-image.

What is self-image? 

Self-image is how someone feels about themselves. Often this is about unconscious thoughts. Your self-image determines how you act in life. Those who consider themselves stupid may not be so quick to start a course. Or those who consider themselves ugly will keep themselves in the background or will show compensatory behavior to disguise not feeling good about themselves. (text inspired by Medic Info Encyclopedia) 

Self-image, fear and behavior 

Your self-image largely determines your behavior. So the more negative, the more you will (unconsciously) adjust your behavior accordingly. I was always afraid of making mistakes in my work; checked my work indefinitely and then I kept doubting whether it was good enough, at the expense of my free time and my peace of mind.   

How is your self-image? 

 

MORE self-CONFIDENCE?

Work on your Self-Image

How do you work on your self-image and more self-confidence? These are topics I have been seeing psychologists and coaches for, for over a period of 15 years (intermittently). So out of experience I think I can tell you something about it.  

First, let’s look at some causes of low self-confidence. A very common one is: Fear. Fear that you are not beautiful, funny, cool, smart,…. (You name it). Then there is another important one, and that is the beliefs that you carry with you. How do you view yourself and the world? What is your truth and what is not? Based on those “truths” you probably fill in situations for yourself. It’s how you see it. 

Causes of low self-confidence:   

  • Limiting beliefs


The way you view things can have a major impact on how you feel about yourself. Certain beliefs about yourself can get in your way. In science, these are also referred to as “limiting beliefs”. What they know about these is that they are already formed in your early childhood. In the time when you were not yet able to filter messages yourself. Actually, the time when you accepted everything as the truth, for example from your parents or educators. All information that you received then (up to about 6 years old) ended up in your subconscious. There it was stored, to be recalled by you at a later age. (They don’t say:
What is learned in the cradle is carried to the tomb” – for nothing). If these were mostly negative messages or periods with little love, then chances are that you will suffer from this later and it gets in the way of a positive self-image. (I am not saying that if you have experienced this after the age of 6, it will not affect you; This is just showing when it can arise in human life). 

  • Fear  


Another cause
of poor self-esteem is: Fear. As I have experienced in my own life, fear is the source of all the stress and insecurity in my life. When I experience fear again, I start to doubt and I am insecure again. And because I’m afraid to make choices, I suffer from stress. Fear is a powerful weapon that can paralyze us. But how do you deal with that? A beautiful quote that gives me a lot of courage when I feel fear rising again is:

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [wo] man is not who does not feel afraid, but who conquers that fear ”. [“Who” added by me] 

It strengthens me to read that even an impressive person like Nelson Mandela has apparently felt fear in his life (you will find this in several quotes about him), but has not let him guide it in his life. And let’s be honest, who wouldn’t really want that? 

Make your dreams come true, not your fears  

A relatively well-known Christian speaker and writer, Joyce Meyer, quotes in one of her books “There are a lot of people who will never make their dreams come true, but will let their fears come true.” 

Do you want to belong to that scared group? Well, not me! So if things aren’t going well for you, you feel that things are not working out all the time, or you are hindered by fear or wrong beliefs, then get started on your self-image for more self-confidence! Because really: YOU ARE WORTH IT! 

In my case, I agreed with myself when I started this website: “We will continue, even though fear comes into play.” And I bet you, I have had fear! For a week my sleeping problems were back. Again I heard voices like: “You are not good enough, people think your blog is stupid, imagine that you are rejected (again)” etc., etc… But I have learned that I can make choices, against fear. Because I know I’m doing the right thing. And I wish the same for you. That you are allowed to flourish, and that you don’t let yourself get in the way of a negative self-image or fear. That you can make your dreams come true, or start dreaming again. Because you are worth it! 

 

meer Self-confidence?

Work on your Self-Image

How do you work on your self-image and more self-confidence? These are topics I have been seeing psychologists and coaches for, for over a period of 15 years (intermittently). So out of experience I think I can tell you something about it.  

First, let’s look at some causes of low self-confidence. A very common one is: Fear. Fear that you are not beautiful, funny, cool, smart,…. (You name it). Then there is another important one, and that is the beliefs that you carry with you. How do you view yourself and the world? What is your truth and what is not? Based on those “truths” you probably fill in situations for yourself. It’s how you see it. 

Causes of low self-confidence:   

  • Limiting beliefs
     

The way you view things can have a major impact on how you feel about yourself. Certain beliefs about yourself can get in your way. In science, these are also referred to as “limiting beliefs”. What they know about these is that they are already formed in your early childhood. In the time when you were not yet able to filter messages yourself. Actually, the time when you accepted everything as the truth, for example from your parents or educators. All information that you received then (up to about 6 years old) ended up in your subconscious. There it was stored, to be recalled by you at a later age. (They don’t say: What is learned in the cradle is carried to the tomb” – for nothing). If these were mostly negative messages or periods with little love, then chances are that you will suffer from this later and it gets in the way of a positive self-image. (I am not saying that if you have experienced this after the age of 6, it will not affect you; This is just showing when it can arise in human life). 

  • Fear  


Another cause
of poor self-esteem is: Fear. As I have experienced in my own life, fear is the source of all the stress and insecurity in my life. When I experience fear again, I start to doubt and I am insecure again. And because I’m afraid to make choices, I suffer from stress. Fear is a powerful weapon that can paralyze us. But how do you deal with that? A beautiful quote that gives me a lot of courage when I feel fear rising again is:

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [wo] man is not who does not feel afraid, but who conquers that fear ”. [“Who” added by me] 

It strengthens me to read that even an impressive person like Nelson Mandela has apparently felt fear in his life (you will find this in several quotes about him), but has not let him guide it in his life. And let’s be honest, who wouldn’t really want that? 

Make your dreams come true, not your fears  

A relatively well-known Christian speaker and writer, Joyce Meyer, quotes in one of her books “There are a lot of people who will never make their dreams come true, but will let their fears come true.” 

Do you want to belong to that scared group? Well, not me! So if things aren’t going well for you, you feel that things are not working out all the time, or you are hindered by fear or wrong beliefs, then get started on your self-image for more self-confidence! Because really: YOU ARE WORTH IT! 

In my case, I agreed with myself when I started this website: “We will continue, even though fear comes into play.” And I bet you, I  have had fear! For a week my sleeping problems were back. Again I heard voices like: “You are not good enough, people think your blog is stupid, imagine that you are rejected (again)” etc., etc… But I have learned that I can make choices, against fear. Because I know I’m doing the right thing. And I wish the same for you. That you are allowed to flourish, and that you don’t let yourself get in the way of a negative self-image or fear. That you can make your dreams come true, or start dreaming again. Because you are worth it! 

 

I LOVE LIFE AGAIN!

Stella has spent more than half of her life searching for PEACE and she still does this every day. What she learned along the way, through trial and error, she shares with you in her blogs.   

Stella is a happily married mother, lives on the coast and loves writing, going out for diner, traveling abroad and gymnastics. In her spare time she sings (not very good but she enjoys it). 

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Email me the newest Blogs for more Peace of Mind, Confidence and Happiness

You receive approx. 1 blog every 2 weeks.